life and forget

did not i see it?
that every drop of my blood ..
every sweat that comes out of the pores of my skin
is the evidence i have lived?
did not i feel?
that every motion of my body
each octave voice
i accept the evidence is the core of my life

but why did not i realize
that i have lived?
i just know i have it
but i never realized that i have
i can only use my life
without meaning, and i know why i can live
o the Lord of
forgive me for everything that i've forgotten
the things i should have given the gift of your
by thy willingness
i could feel my life is perfect
but ...
still i enjoyed it proper?
while i only say unto thee modest
does that mean i was in vain?
am i being selfish?
because i so want favors that so much without trying
Or grateful to Thee
i can not say anything
and i'm sure you know what i want
i can only hope that
that you know ..